ou know those kids you get at school They've got a motorbike so they think they're cool They got a moped for their sixteenth birthday Now you can hear 'em coming from half a mile away

It's the moped lads They like to think they're bad It's the moped lads If you hit 'em they tell their dads

They follow the school-bus 'cos they think they're next They try to impress the girls on the back-seat They go up to youth club and stand outside And talk about the bikes they can only ride

They're about as lard as a lump of shit But they've got two wheels so they think they're it They allways show-off and try to act flush But the best thing about 'em is when they crash

Banned from pubs get out of this place Banned from pubs 'cos we don't like your face Banned from pubs get out of that door Banned from pubs or I'll call the law

Banned, banned, banned 'cos they don't like punks Banned, banned, banned They treat us like drunks

Banned from pubs go on I said go Banned from pubs can we have a drink? No Banned from pubs just get out of here Banned from pubs no you can't have a beer

Banned from pubs go on on your way Banned from pubs no punks they say Banned from pubs you lot get out Banned from pubs no punks they shout

Elvis had an heart-attack 'cos he got too bleedin' fat He weighed nearly half a ton He looked more like a pregnant mum

Elvis is dead (x2)

Elvis had a gammy leg He had a gammy head He had a gammy kidney He's better-off dead

In August 1977 Elvis met his fate But he couldn't get into heaven 'cos he couldn't get thru the gate

When a cops gonna nick yer When yer dad's gonna hit yer When the bird you're with is rough When you can't drink enough

Up yer bum, up yer bum Up yer bum, up yer bum Up, up, up, up, up Up yer bum

When you can't get the hard When you've lost yer dole card When yer bird's got clap When yer beers gone flat

When yer neighbour complain When yer bird's on again When you can't scrounge a fag When yer mum starts to nag

In the early hours walking thru the precint He's spent all his money and now he's real skint He sees the video thru the hi-fi shops' doors The beer in his brain says go on it's yours

Even though he's pissed and his senses are all dull He can still hear the ringing of the alarm bell

He looks at the damage thru pissed eyes He's gotta leg it now now he's got his prize He tries to run away but his legs don't wanna know A voice laughts to him it is the alcohol

He stumbles thru the street not knowing where to go A pissed-up idiot with an expensive video And he realises later when he gets home at three It's too hot plog and he's got no TV

I was down the local disco getting' off with this girl. Things were going really good, going really well. We was alone in a corner kissing and then I heard this bloke come up behind me and say: “ Oi, thats my fucking bird!! ”

Down the local disco eyeing-up some skirt She was giving-it all that, god she was a flirt She came up to me and said:“ Do you wanna dance? ” Well I thought this is it I'm in here with a chance

Then this bloody gread big geezer said “ 'ere mate thats my girl” Well I didn't want no trouble So I run like bloody hell

Run like hell (x2)

Alone at a party pissed out of me head Well I don't know how I get there but I ended up in bed When I woke up in the morning I was alone no more But as I was getting dressed her boyfriend came in thru the door

When there's trouble in the air I'm the bloke who's always there When loving couples swear anal arise I am there to make it worse

In the shit I'll drop you right in it I'm shitstirrer

If you have two-timed your girl Straight to her I'll go and tell And even if your love is true I'll shit tell you've got two

If you're off work and tell then why I'll tell your boss it's all a lie And if you say things behind his back I'll grass you up so you'll get the sack

I've just been beaten-up by a ted Because of our song “ Elvis is dead ” He rearranged my teeth though he weren't a dentist I would have run away but I was a bit pissed

Intensive Intensive care I'm in intensive care

He pushed me up against a brick wall Then he kicked me around like I was a football He kicked me in the face then he trod on my head And then he ran away 'cos he thought I was dead

I tried to get up though I was bleeding and bruised I shouldn't have bothered 'cos I met bad news Around the corner were another three And they all kicked the shit out of me

When yer chips have just gone cold Don't throw 'em in the bin like you've been told Chuck them down onto the floor Then tread them in so the mess looks more

Come on you dirty bastards Keep Britain untidy

When you've finished a can of beer Don't worry if there ain't a dustbin near Just chuck it down with the other trash Then find a window you can smash

When you find a place that's neat Just make it look like a rubbish heap Smash the windows tip up the bins Show 'em the shit that we're livin' in

Over the hills we go my dear To my house which is near It's a little house with red curtained windows And a fireplace with red gloving cinders There I'm gonna screw the arse off you

I open the door we step inside You sit down while I switch on the light I pour you a drink while you slip-off your shoes In my mind I know what to do I am gonna screw the arse off you

I kiss your lips slowly while I undo your dress My hand reaches down to gently caress But there's something there that I didn't expect It's hot and fleshy and it's getting erect

I've been cheated tonight Transvestite

Is this some kind of joke You're really a bloke

I creep down alleys and peep thru blinds I strangle and kill any children I find I like meeting people when they're dead I take some of them back to bed

I'm a maniac I'm insaniac I'm a maniac Are you a maniac too?

Catching, eating spiders and flies Seducing people on telephone lines I like little girls of nine or ten I love making love to them

Setting light to dogs and cats Breaking into old ladies flats Why is everyone laughing at me? Why is everyone laughing at me?

We turn up outside at the gig, there's people there the crowds are big, they stop you to ask and see, if you can get them in free. Fivers in pockets they still try, “ Come on we're broke ” they all lie, give you hassle make you late, “ Get me in free go on mate ”.

Get me on the guest list, lend me ten pee. Get me on the guest list, go on just me, get me on the guest list, get me in free.

Trapper fans trying their best, to make out they are our guests,they seem to think it is easy, for you to get them in free.

So many questions in my head, who is this girl in my bed ? I don't know her she's someone new, got pissed last night but did I screw ?

I, I don't know her name, I, I won't see her again. She's a one night stand, one night stand, she's a one night stand.

Fast asleep she's still crashed, go thru her pockets for her cash. So annoying with her snore, I ought to kick her on the floor.

Love at first sight I don't think so, 'cos I can't wait till I can go I don't know him I don't know his name, I don't think I'll go with him again.

She is lying there in the nude, but I can't remember if we screwed. So I'll do her now just to make sure, and then I'll kick her out the door.

I've always played with fire since when I was quite young, and now I've joined a gang who share my type of fun. Now schools and shops and houses are all down on our list, we are the ones responsible 'cos we are arsonists.

We'll burn everything in sight, we'll even set you alight, we live for the fire and flames

We love the damage and destruction that is caused by fire, we always stay upon the scene to watch the flames go higher. We love to watch things burning love the smell and the sound, we'll put match to anything to raze it to the ground.

The cops are gonna get us that's what the papers say, but we're still lighting fires and getting clean away. But if they got me cornered they wouldn't have me anyway, 'cos I'd soak myself in petrol and I'd set myself ablaze.

He joins the gang as we leave the pub, we're off downtown to a niteclub. And whereas usually we'd get in, we don't tonight 'cos we're with him.

We're miles from home waiting for the last bus, but when it comes it don't stop for us We can't afford a cab and it's quite clear, this wouldn't happen if he weren't here.

He's a jinx, jinx, everything goes wrong. He's a jinx, jinx, when he string along.

It's Saturday night and there's parties on, but we can't get in any 'cos he's come along. So we end up walking 'round all night, if it weren't for him we'd been alright.

If you want a partner for pool or darts, and you play with him you've lost before it starts. If we go to a match and he comes in, you can guarantee our team won't win.

I am here but where is she ? We were supposed to meet at three. Now I'm soaking wet from the pouring rain, it looks like I've been blown out again.

Although I try it's all in vain, i've been blown out blown out again. It's not my fault I'm not to blame, i've been blown out blown out again.

Been promised a lift from me mate, but he ain't arrived and it's getting late.

But when he arrives the car is full, i've been blown out and I feel a fool.

This curse upon me is a pain, i've been blown out blown out again. It's not my fault I'm not to blame, ive been blown out blown out again.

I'm on the guest list for a gig in town, so I make a special effort of going down. But when I get there they can't find my name, it looks like I've been blown out again.

You've been thrown out of the pub and your walking down the street, you feel a bit hungry and you wanna bite to eat. You go into the Wimpy but that's your BIG mistake, by the time you leave you've got a stomach ache.

Wimpy's are shit (Trapper: So are M), Wimpy's are shit (Trapper: I hate Ronald), Wimpy's are shit.

You get served by a tart dressed in orange and black, when you see you're food you wanna send it back. You look at the pictures of the Wimpy's on the wall, but what you get given is hardly edible.

Wimpy's are shit (Trapper: Meat means murder), Wimpy's are shit (Trapper: Don't' buy a burger), Wimpy's are shit.

Get served your food and it's always cold I bet the hamburgers are at least a month old. You pay loads of money and it really tastes bad, but you don't wanna admit that you've been had.

Wimpy's are shit (Trapper: You'll get diarrhoea), Wimpy's are shit (Trapper:You'll be lucky if you live), Wimpy's'are shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

Planned down to the last detail, this one job that couldn't fail. Broke in on the night before, one guard no trouble to the four.

Seven million on that day, and now they're clean away. Seven million on that day, on that Easter holiday.

When the staff arrived at noon, they were forced to open the strong-room. Armed with guns but they weren't needed, 'cos their orders all were heeded.

With all that cash they go away, the coppers sick not much to say. One of Britain's biggest robberies, on Easter Bank Holiday '83.

Heard there's a party in the town, so I've got me beer and Merrydown. Got me bottles and me cans, gotta get in if I can.

No invitation, but it don't stop me, No invitation, gatecrash yer party, No invitation, but it don't stop me.

Though I don't know no-one here, i'll still take yer food and drugs and beer.

And as I don't live here I don't care, if I start to throw-up everywhere.

Gonna screw a bird in yer bog, gonna be sick as a dog. Gonna crash out in yer bed 'cos I'm gonna be pissed outta me head.

Well it's Friday night and the weekend's here, so let's start right with lots of beer. I said “Hey gang let's hit the booze, hey gang give me some blues” 'cos I'm gonna stay awake all night. This time some girls gonna be in that bed of mine, so let's get this weekend under way. Turn the volume up let the records play.

We've all had two merry we're feeling great, so let's split this joint 'cos it's getting late. I said “Don't Ogs bring Sue with us, hey Ogs let's get the bus ”. Let's shift those pints down in the pub, let's shift those feet down a nightclub. Just two quid and we're through the door, making cringes down on the dancefloor.

Well the music's loud the lights are low, the speed is working I'm rarin' to go.

I said “Hey girl do you wanna drink ? Hey girl don't stop to think, 'cos if you're lucky and play your cards right, you can sleep with a popstar tonight”. “Well you know I fancy you like mad, so take me home Pete to your pad”.

We're back at the ranch and we're in bed, but the knocking on the door's going thru my head. We said “Hey Pete go-on right-up, hey Pete who is that slut ? We'll take no notice of what they say”. Legs over shoulders pumping away, “Well hard luck I'm leaving all the same, well thank you lads you've done it again”.

Standing at the party talking to this bloke, he said he fancied me I thought it was a joke. But when he tried to kiss me I thought it's time to hide, i'll go find the bog and lock myself inside.

Never made it, never made it, never made it, to the bog in time.

Later in the party with joint in hand, so pissed and proud I could hardly stand.

I started to feel sick it must have been the dope, I tried to reach the bog but there wasn't much hope.

Stumbled home from the party about half hour, had trouble getting the key into the door My bladder was full and it wouldn't wait, by the time I reached the bog it was too late.